b r e a t h e

b r e a t h e

My yoga practice begins not with a stretch or even a down dog, but when the yoga instructor cues us: Start following your breath. In Sanskrit it’s called Pranayama and in vinyasa or flow yoga it’s as integral to the practice as the poses.

“Prana“ is the breath and “ayama” is the ability to control, extend or restrain. (and yes, I got that off of Wikipedia)

= breath control

It sounds simple. Compared to the inversions, the arm balances that follow, you would think this should be easy, right? But my practice on the mat didn’t really evolve until I tuned into the breath, paying attention to what it was doing on it’s own and then slowing it down, evening it out – equal on the inhale and the exhale. The physicians in my family would argue that breathing is involuntary and this is all new agey fluff. But I, on the other hand have found the breath to be a bridge between the body and the mind. And frankly, sometimes, we forget. How many times did I twist into a pose, or balance on one foot, concentrating so hard, teetering, and ready to fall over only to realize that I was holding my breath. Breath is indeed a life force and so often we deny its full potential whether we are aware or not.

Early on, I became fully aware of my breath when I decided to hide in my parent’s linen closet during a game of hide and seek with my brothers. I tucked myself into a ball on the floor under the last shelf and tugged at the door to close it a bit. It refused to close easily – instead scraping against the thick, extra plush carpet. I gave it an extra hard tug and finally the door clicked shut. I immediately pushed on the door but the latch wouldn’t give. I stretched for the knob but the shelf above me blocked the way and my 8-year old arms were just not long enough. I panicked and pounded on the door but my hiding place was too good. My brothers gave up and moved on to another game. And when I needed my loud mouth the most, it failed me. I tried to scream and a feeble yelp was all I could manage. I’m not sure you can suffocate in a linen closet, but remember feeling that way. I bent my head low to the ground to suck in air from under the door but the damn carpet was too thick. I’m not sure how long I was in there but it felt like an eternity until finally my brother heard the thud, thud of my fists and he opened the door. The cool air hit my face and I swear the oxygen tasted sweet.  I haven’t taken a breath for granted ever since.

The breath is iconic in that it signals the start of life in a newborn’s first desperate gasp for air – a moment etched into every mother and father’s minds.  My first words when my son was born? That is soooo crazy. I don’t know if it was the drugs – it was an emergency c-section, after all, but I remember how surreal it was seeing him suck up all that oxygen for the first time on his own, his whole body turning incredibly pink and then letting it all out in an incredible wail. Of course, there’s a last breath, too. And, well, besides my pet hermit crab, Macho, dying on me in the 3rd grade, I can’t say I’ve witnessed the precise moment someone passes on. I’m sure that day will come. I wonder if that last breath will taste sweet?

So it makes sense that when life gets too outta hand I need to remind myself to follow my breath. Everyone goes through his/her share of hard times. I realize that but I like to think that I'm getting through about a decade's worth in six months. Might as well get it all over with so I can coast for a while, right? Have you ever felt pain so intense, it takes your breath away? So I reach for my ear buds to tune out the chaos. And when I feel like I’m about to be swallowed up whole, I find myself going to this song, a mantra of sorts. I give myself a minute and the only thing I ask of myself is to: 1) breathe in 2) breathe out and 3) repeat.

Keep Breathing

Written by Ingrid Michaelson

The storm is coming but I don't mind
People are dying, I close my blinds

All that I know is I'm breathing now

I want to change the world
Instead I sleep
I want to believe in more than you and me

But all that I know is I'm breathing
All I can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing now

All that I know is I'm breathing
All I can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing

All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing now