This morning was a first. First time I've had to literally drag my son into school, kicking and screaming. It was not pretty.
It started this morning when I woke up to find him playing his wii surreptitiously in the dark. He knows the rules: No wii except for weekends. This is the third time in the last three days he's blatantly broken the rules. Second time I changed the input on the TV so he couldn't get the feed from the game console. He figured that out. So last night I changed the input and hid the remotes. And he still figured it out -- I have no idea how.
In some ways his perseverance and technical problem solving capabilities are impressive. Images of the Little Dude at MIT flash through my brain but I shake it off because I need to get him on the bus.
The logical consequences I imposed were working initially (every time he broke the rule meant one less legit opportunity to play on the weekend) but then that started to lose its effect so I tried to up the ante and took away his play date today. So now I have an upset kid, refusing to get ready to go to school. He fought me valiantly every step of the way: from smearing toothpaste all over his face to fighting me on every article of clothing. I put on each sock and shoe more than once because of those flailing and kicking legs. All the while, I'm trying to be firm but trying to affirm his emotions and stay calm while he was escalating. But it was not working. So like a desperate poker player, I was naming every privilege, treat, and special I could think of, counting to three and giving him the choice to comply or not but making it clear that he HAD to go to school.
No dessert today...1, 2, 3. Poof!
No cartoons this weekend... 1, 2, 3. Poof!
No computer this weekend... 1, 2, 3. Poof!
No movies this weekend... 1, 2, 3. Poof!
(I must confess here, that these were pretty easy consequences for me since he's with his dad this weekend. Oh well.)
At this point we've been to the bus stop and he refused to get on-board, refused to get into the car (the old foot-in-the door trick), refused to get out of the car at school, and now I'm chasing him around the car in the parking lot afraid he's going to run into traffic. What now? I'm concerned for his safety so I know it's gotta be big.
I'm going to disconnect your wii and give it to some other little boy.
At this point, it's a standoff. He's standing on one side of the car and I am on the other side. Our eyes meet and for a second there's a bit of panic in his eyes.
Nooo, not the wiiiii, he's probably thinking.
It's like a spaghetti western and we walk slowly around the car doing our little dance.
Now I'm thinking, aww, man, he probably thinks I'm bluffing. I've hit the point of no return now. I need to throw all my chips in.
I take one last step, repeat the consequence and I give him his final warning:
onnne... twoooo...threeeeeee. POOF.
************
Later that morning, I'm pulling cords, disconnecting the wii. And then it dawns on me,
Oh sh@*t! I forgot about my wii fit plus/yoga workout.
I'm not sure who won the battle or the war.
3 comments:
May seem like a pyrrhic victory but it takes a lot of guts to follow through. I keep telling my husband: let's do the work now so it's easier for all of us later on(not that it always works out that way of course...).
Glad he got to school and hope you were able to grab some java and do some deep breathing afterwards. You're a good Mama Melanie!
Ah, I thought this was the cause of ur loooooong FB entry, but that was Monday. Yes, Melanie, you're a good Mama.
thanks Jane. It's true. If I had just let it go it would have been like any other morning but ultimately, what lesson does he learn? rules are meant to be broken? still, this morning he pulled the chair over to the armoire which houses the tv and all the remotes and I know he was up to no good.
And thanks Jane and T for the compliment. I"m not a perfect mother but I try my best. BTW, I just love getting comments on the blog! It's really flattering to know people read this stuff. So if you want to make me happy, comment away!
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