Weed Whackers*, the Terminator and McMansions 

A friend asked me recently, "what is the hardest part of what you're going through right now?" I thought it was a more novel approach to asking the question, "how are you doing?" when you know that person is going through tough times.

Divorce is hard. Becoming a single mom is hard. Going back to work after many years is hard. Taking care of a house by yourself is hard.

I'm still afraid to use the weed whacker* for fear of accidentally cutting my feet off at the ankles. The ex took the tool box with him. Have you ever tried to screw something together with a butter knife? Not easy. And when one of those million legged hairy creatures runs across the floor, I now have to step up to the role of the (ex)Terminator. I preferred running out of the room with the little dude and sending reinforcements in to deal with the problem.

But really, here's my most honest answer to that question. The hardest part of what we're going through right now is the uncertainty. The hardest part is not being able to picture our lives not only one year from now but even in the coming weeks/months. I try really hard to see the silver lining in all this. When you have to reinvent your life and come up with new dreams, the sky is the limit. Every dream should be that way regardless but when your life suddenly becomes unrecognizable and you have to rebuild from the ground up, the possibilities seem endless. Although I'd like to think of myself as an old home restored rather than a tear down/McMansion. But then again, I digress.

And when all else fails, I recall the yogic mantra of:

You are exactly where you should be, where you need to be ... (or something like that)

Namaste.

* I will admit that I am a stickler about spelling and when I looked up weed whacker vs. weed wacker, well, let's just say I entered into a whole new world of meanings I wasn't expecting. Perhaps I should have just used the term weed trimmer but I liked the alliteration.